The Pain of Loss (Orion)

[Headmistress Serenity Dracula]

Serenity’s eyes glowed a bloody red as she stood at the edge of the cliff watching the sun set. Her usually pale white skin was a bright pink from standing in its bright rays all day and not bothering to make an effort to protect her skin with even so much as a simple shield charm. There were a few patches of dried blood here and there on her arms and face from the little killing spree she’d gone on in the small town not far from where she was but she couldn’t really bring herself to care considering how numb she was feeling at that moment. It was a feeling that just wouldn’t go away and it overrode the pain her body was feeling in its attempts to tell her to get out of the sun and it came when she’d first learned of the loss of Morgana and had yet to leave her. She couldn’t help but feel regret, her mind imagining that had she been there with her that perhaps Morgana would still be with them, that maybe there was something she could have done. She knew the thoughts were useless, she had been pregnant at the time and wasn’t much use to anyone at that point.

The pain was something she hadn’t felt since Robin’s death and it was one she had been hoping she would never have felt again. She knew though that she couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain that Orion was feeling and that was something else that caused her the troubled mind that she was now trying to quiet. The wind from the sea whipped her unbound hair around as she reached up to wipe at the sudden wetness on her face. She wasn’t really all that surprised when her fingers came away bloody. Blood tears were the only way a vampire could cry when they carried such pain.

When she’d seen Orion the night before she had wanted more than anything to mother him, allow him to vent his frustrations in a way she knew he wouldn’t with others around but it hadn’t been the time or place for that and it had taken all her will power to not approach him on that level. She knew when he had taken over that the protective and mothering feelings she had towards him might be an issue from time to time but she had never imagined that the urge for them to come out would be something like this. She sighed to herself as the sea spayed her and hissed a little as a small blister finally came to the surface on her skin. Causing others pain was usually how she dealt with things but this was a pain that not even that could relieve.

Looking out at the sea again, she continued to ignore her own bodily pain as she continued to try and will away the pain in her mind.

[Orion Rhys Brystan]

Blood oozed across the once clean canvas of earth now strew with the mutilated body parts of more than a dozen muggles. A child's lifeless head lay innocently atop a pile of still warm internal organs, her lovely blue eyes staring sightlessly at the painting of horror that now replaced her small town. The sun had blazed down upon the entire horror show without reprieve, as if unable to do anything but try to expose the talented artist venting his rage upon the hapless victims. Now, no one remained alive to even attempt to stop the heartless slaughter but still the dark figure raged on. Drenched from head to toe in a sticky layer of red liquid, Orion merely gazed over the minefield of devastation left in his wake as if studying a particularly tricky puzzle. He did nothing to stop the trickle of blood that slid down his stained flesh and into his cold, emotionless eyes.

Kicking aside the now headless torso of his last victim, he wandered away from the place of death. He lost track of how long it walked for, legs moving steadily as his feet lead him mindlessly without any purpose. The void within him was strangely familiar and yet equally confusing. Morgana was dead, and Orion wasn't sure if he even knew how to respond to that. For as long as he could remember, Orion had struggled to understand emotions that others took for granted. It wasn't that he simply didn't understand them but that he failed to even experience them at all. Sure he felt anger and hatred and disgust, but things like love and grief or guilt and despair were utterly unachievable. To a certain extent, he wasn't even sure if what he felt was truly anger or merely an expression of his reactions to certain stimuli which required a response.

Of course he was angry, because that's how one felt when their wife was murdered. But then, was he not to have loved her and thus feel grief at her sudden loss as well? So Orion killed, because when he was wading knee deep in hot corpses, soaked in their blood with the memory of their torment fresh in his mind, he felt whole and in control again. Coming to a stop, he was a bit surprised to find himself staring at the back of a very familiar figure standing in the sunshine upon a nearby cliff. Rather than break the silence, Orion merely shoved his gore-encrusted hands into his pockets and made his way over to the woman who had been both mentor and in all meaning of the word, mother to him.

As soon as he came to a stop beside her, Orion wished that he had kept going rather than seek out her presence. Morgana had been as close to Serenity as he was, all of them being raised together, constantly in each other's lives since the very beginning. Given the rather crispy nature of Serenity's normally luminescently pale skin, he suspected she was dealing with the loss just as well as he was. Kicking a rock off the side of the cliff, Orion was surprised to find himself feeling something strange that he had never felt before. He wanted to scream, to lash out at something, find some meaning in it all. His eyes burned oddly, making him blink rapidly a bit confused as to what was happening to him. Swallowing past the sudden lump that grew in his throat, Orion risked a glance at Serenity, still unable to even form words let alone the thoughts needed to create conversation.

[Headmistress Serenity Dracula]

Serenity took in Orion’s appearance for a moment as well as the seemingly puzzled expression on his face as she looked at him. She didn’t bother to wipe away the bloody tears this time wondering if perhaps allowing him to see her expressing something other than the cold front that she was so known for might help him better understand what he himself might be feeling. She stared at him for a moment longer before looking back out at the sea again. “It’s strange is it not?” She questioned softly. “Not even killing brings its usual enjoyment.” She said her voice low. She also didn’t mention the loss of Morgana, as she felt it wasn’t needed, they both knew what they had been trying to quell by going out and killing as they had and as silly as it sounded Serenity couldn’t help but feel that if maybe if she didn’t say the words out loud it would make them untrue.

She knew it was a foolish ploy on her part and she knew full well that not saying anything and continuing on as she was would not turn back the hands of time and bring the young woman back to them all. It was a childish thought process and one she knew they could not afford in their line of work. Realizing this, against her better judgment she chose to express it. “I seem to keep wanting to fool myself, I tell myself if I do not say that she is gone it will make it untrue, that she will simply show up as if nothing had happened at it.” She muttered out before reaching up and tucking some of her hair behind her ear in a useless attempt to tame it in some way. Glancing towards, for all intents and purposes, her adoptive son, the motherly part of her instincts wanted nothing more than to reach out to him and offer him comfort in some way, a touch, a hug, anything. However, she didn’t know how the young man would react.

He’d never seemed to want for much physical affection when he was young, in fact Serenity could only remember a few rare occasions when she’d been able to do that with him, occasionally picking him up and carrying him away from Vlad when the older vampire would become cross with him or taking him away when Grindelwald would become cross with the boy. When she thought about it though, she didn’t know who the random affectionate act would bring some sort of comfort to more him or her, at that point in time though she couldn’t really say for sure. She refused to make the request though she already felt at odds with even having the urge let alone allowing herself to ask for such a thing.

[Orion Rhys Brystan]

Orion's eyes flicked over to Serenity before returning to the sea before which they stood. The streaks of blood falling from her eyes surprised him. Serenity had always been a role model to him, a symbol of strength that he sought to duplicate. He didn't know how to react to the sudden display of what he had always seen as weakness. Pulling a hand out of his pocket, he studied it's gore caked appearance as if seeking answers within the congealing blood. "Indeed, though there is satisfaction to be had in the continued accomplishment of our goals." His voice was oddly thick, gruffer than usual even as an almost innocent bewilderment flashed in his dark eyes. It seemed that no matter he did that strange sensation would not leave him alone. Killing had always been a pleasurable experience for him. In many ways, the slaughter of others was equal to the pleasure gained from intimate relations.

Anger surged through him at her words, turning to tower over her aggressively with barely maintained restraint, though he really did not know why he was angry at her. "Morgana is dead. She is not coming back, not now not ever. She's just another useless rotting corpse out there Merlin knows where." He broke off abruptly, turning away just as sharply as he had spoken. His vision swam, liquid pooling in his eyes against his will for what could very well be the first time in his entire life. "Damn it." Rubbing the back of his hand against his eyes, Orion achieved little other than to smear the drying blood around. Clasping his hands around his upper arms, forearms crossed, he fought for control. "What is wrong with me." He muttered, body practically trembling as he stood stiffly on the cliff side. Turning slightly toward Serenity in confusion as water continued to pool threatening in his gaze, he allowed her to witness the weakness that was overtaking him.

"Make it stop." His voice was oddly small, reminiscent to the one from long ago when Vlad had thought it funny to send him scary visions one night when he slept over. Fear and confusion had driven the young boy from his bed to Serenity's side, where he stretched up his little arms and asked her to make it all better. Though she had been furious with Vlad for being so unkind to the human child he loathed, Serenity had in fact made it all better as far as Orion was concerned. Though he was 24, Commander of the Atrox Legion and Dark Lord, there was only one person he still believed in some small corner of his mind could actually make things better. He took a hesitant step toward her, no longer able to prevent the shaking that was rattling his usually imperturbable frame. Orion didn't know what he expected or even what he wanted, all he knew was that something inside him was breaking and he didn't know how to deal with it. It was as if his ice cold soul had been shattered into a million pieces and now he was slowly melting into nothingness.

[Headmistress Serenity Dracula]

Serenity didn’t respond as Orion yelled at her, she had assumed that was the reaction he would have if she voiced her thoughts so she allowed it to roll off of her not even shooting a glare in the young man’s direction let she usually caught herself doing when he would yell. She couldn’t even say she was surprised when he questioned what it was that was happening to him. “Whether or not you choose to acknowledge it your body is trying to get rid of the pain of losing Morgana even if you think your mind has already come to terms with it.” She said her voice even but carrying a far gentler tone than she usually used when speaking to anyone accept for her own children or her mate.

At the small request from the other Serenity felt something in her finally give as she fully turned to face the young man. Letting her guard down she could gleam a hint of the memory that flashed through the Dark Lord’s mind. As she did she remembered it herself all too clearly. She’d been up and about walking the castle halls when Orion had found her and the look on his face had cut her right to the core as had his tone of voice. He had always been a strong child so to see him shaken up had been rather alarming for her. Not knowing how he would react, she did what she had done with Robin when Vlad had decided to torment her and picked him up into her arms, and smoothed back his hair whispering words of reassurance to him and rocking him a bit in her arms as she walked him back to bed.

Bringing herself back to the present she knew that Orion was a bit too big to be picked up as she once had but he wasn’t too big to be held by her. She knew that even given the situation she was still tempting fate she reached for him and pulled him to her gently allowing him the chance to pull away and wrapped her long arms around him, brushing his hair gently as she had once before and slowly bean to speak. “You are the strongest mortal I know, and I am proud to serve you, and like me you know that emotions only get in the way but this is one time that if you do not let them go, they will only eat you away from the inside.” She murmured out softly. “You’ve no one to be strong here for, no one to keep it together in front of and you know I will carry this all with me until the end of my days.” She added as means to reassure him as she brushed back his hair once more. She didn’t know what the words would do for him, she could only hope that he would heed her advice on the matter and let go whatever he was feeling about everything.

[Orion Rhys Brystan]

At first, Orion did not know how to react. His body was stiff and rigid as Serenity slowly drew him toward her. Against all reason, he did not pull away from her but rather allowed the vampire to pull him into her arms. The soft stroke of her hand against his hair kept the memories of long ago fresh in his mind. He listened to her words intently with both senses and mind, attuned to the presence of her own memories from that night. Slowly, without response to what she had said, Orion allowed his head to fall forward until his forehead touched her shoulder. Just as gradually, his hands rose until they fisted in her clothing, clinging tightly to her back as he pressed against her. Finally he spoke, his voice ragged and choked with emotion. "I want her back so badly. I just want her back."

With those words he felt himself break, water spilling silently from his eyes as his body shook in silent grief. Melting against Serenity, he buried his face in her shoulder, struggling so hard to be strong but unable to hold back any longer. Orion clung to her like a drowning man, suddenly wanting to feel the pain he hadn't been able to feel since hearing the news of his wife's murder. He had lost more than just his wife. Morgana had been his partner, his confident, his friend for all his life, and in many respects his soul. Orion would continue on without her, he knew that, but there was also a part of him that had died along with her. Though he allowed no sound to escape him aside from the gasping inhalations as he breathed around his tears, he could not stop the utter sorrow that threatened to drag him under. With the grief came renewed anger, but this anger was sharper, more focused than before.

Growling past the irritating silent sobs he couldn't contain, Orion finally lifted his head and locked his sorrowful gaze on Serenity. "I will find who did this, even if I have to raze this entire planet." He snarled even as water fell unheeded from his cold blue eyes. Despite the show of weakness, already he was beginning to feel stronger, more in control. A quirk of his old smirk appeared on his lips. He was far from over the loss, but Serenity had been right. Studying her appearance, he frowned at the condition of her skin. Clearly he was not the only one dealing poorly with Morgana's death. Dropping his head forward toward his chest, he rolled head slowly to one side, offering the only thanks he was capable of giving. It certainly didn't hurt that he rather enjoyed this particular method of returning a favor, a rare position for him to find himself in.

[Headmistress Serenity Dracula]

To say that she was a little surprised at the fact that Orion didn't pull away from her, would have been the understatement of the century. She could never quite put her finger on what it was about letting her mothering instincts take over that gave her such a sense of peace, she was just aware that it always did. The way he clung so tightly to her made her very thankful for her heritiage as she was sure he would have been on ther verge of crushing another mortal and she was thankful once again when his words reached her ears.

Serenity honestly felt as if her heart were ripping in two. To hear a confession such as that from Orion of all people was astounding to say the very least. She could not remember ever hearing him sound as he did even when he was little. "I know you do love, we all do." She murmured brushing his hair back once more. When a growl escaped from Orion, Serenity's brow raised a bit in question until he met her gaze and spoke.

At the proclamation Serenity merely nodded her head at this, she had no doubt that Orion would make good on his threat to accomplish his goal. "And I will assist you in this, in whatever way you may need me." She said keeping her eyes fixed on his showing that she meant every word of it.

She was more than a little surprised when Orion bared his throat to her. She couldn't help but admit that her thirst was great due to the strain she had inflicted on her body by being out in the sun all day. She wanted to say something, anything, but for once she had no words of wisdom, and could not think of anything to say that the gracious offer from her Lord. Not wanting to appear to be looking a gift horse in the mouth, her fangs slid into place with a click before she quickly reached forward and took gentle hold of his neck, always being mindful of the fact that no matter how strong Orion was he was still mortal.

Sinking her fangs into the delicate flesh of his neck, she sighed as she felt a sudden jolt of power radiate through her as the internal cry for blood was slowly quieted.

[Orion Rhys Brystan]

Orion wasn't sure if Serenity would accept his offer or not, as rare as it was. There had been a time as a child when playing snack for her daughter had been the highlight of his day. Orion, however, was no longer the young boy clawing his way toward power all the while living fully and recklessly. How strange it was to now be the one in charge, to know that with barely a word from him he could command Serenity to do anything without limit. A flash of relief ripped through him, a bit surprised at how strongly he wanted the connection a feeding brought. The click of her fangs sent a shiver of anticipation racing down his spine, elevating his heartbeat in preparation for the rushing surge of blood flow that was soon to come. Serenity was careful with him as she eased them both into position, her fangs scraping his skin lightly before sharp pain signaled their entrance into his flesh.

Orion remained still, feeling the taste of pain calming him further even as the pleasurable rush of blood being drawn from the wound chased away the last of his turmoil. It was a strangely twisted feeling of both weakness and incredible power that ran rampant through his veins during a feeding. On one hand, the loss of blood never failed to eventually make him lethargic and light headed, though it took an excessively long session to affect him to that level. On the other, the intoxicating sensation set all his nerves on fire, centering and empowering his mind in a way no amount of meditation could ever produce. Orion allowed himself to sink deep into the pure rush of sensation stealing over his body as Serenity drank, all traces of his pathetic bout with utter weakness vanishing like foot prints upon the shores. His heartbeat was steady and controlled, years of being fed upon causing his body to replenish his blood quicker than was normal.

The shame he felt at having broken down, even with one as trusted as Serenity, was quickly being buried beneath his lustful desire for vengeance. He wasn't sure what the depth of his emotional attachment to Morgana meant, having not even realized he could in fact feel like that. But it was unlikely to ever happen again. Now all that mattered was finding who murdered her. With his thoughts centered and his emotions calm again, Orion began to become aware of the beginning hints of physical weakness creeping up on him. Though he was reluctant to end the pleasurable release of blood, he knew his own limits all too well. Reaching up with one hand, he placed his palm firmly against Serenity's collarbone but did not shove her away. The strong touch was the only warning she would receive to stop. In his younger days, Robin had quickly discovered that no matter how drained he might be, his curses still carried enough strength to be lethal to a mortal and downright painful to a vampire, even one who had just fed.